Free kick in Dutch territory, all travelling Arsenal fans were on their feet as was the Gallic arrogant Manager Wenger, this was the moment of truth, a singular moment of brilliance could be all that stood between them and a return to winning ways, his teammates huddled in the box and sweat drenching his jersey, the referee blew and...........my phone rang waking me up from what I imagined would have been a better ending to Arsenals botched FA Cup Quarter-Final against Manchester United the night before.
For a moment there I am pretty sure some of you would have checked the web address to reconfirm the right address, but to truly experience a restaurant with me is to experience everything leading to it, and being a despondent Gunners fan is one of them. The phone rang and my good friend and banker extraordinaire Seun Williams (yes I am hyping him, and as you read more you will understand why) called, and wondered if I was up for breakfast at Salamander Cafe before he dashed to the airport.
Never one to pass a good meal, I was up to it and with that I was out of bed to go through the morning ablutions and get myself ready. You see not being a man of means or material things, you see I am a Buddhist- somewhere over the hills my prayer-warrior mother spidey senses just went off, I expect my phone to ring in 5...4...3..2..1... hmmm strange- just kidding I am a Bible- Believing, God-Fearing, Gun-Rights Christian, I am Sarah Palin.
Ok, more seriously, the point I was trying to make is, I have unflinching faith in the power of friendship and camaraderie and I have been rewarded, quite undeservedly with a rich crop of friends (and I mean that in all versions of that word) , who enter and see the world differently, some who are (Inhale) tall, short, fair, dark, bald, balding, hairy, Igbo, foreign, Yoruba, Hausa, Middlebelters, South-South, Confused. Those that believe in God, those that believe in Capitalism, others the Universe or Darwin.(Exhale). I have good friends.
The lads got to the Cafe before me, and were kind enough to inform me that it had changed location, seeing as we were also working with a schedule, they called ahead to ask what I would like. I have always enjoyed Salamander and I do not go there quite as often as I would like, it was on the experience of my last visit that I ordered the Spinach Omelette. I remember it being a revelation and was quite taken with it, lacking the clear sense of their menu and not having the presence of mind to ask for the contents, I was comfortable with my choice.
I arrived at the new Salamander Cafe in Wuse ll, conveniently not too far from their previous abode, and it would seem the calls in my previous post for Salamander to grow up were heeded, and while I continue to give myself false praise, it should take nothing from the exquisite decor and calming pull of the new location.
Noting the room for improvement on its origin, the cafe has sprawled into something chic, modern and glossy. It is quite the bohemia for artsy & pretentious type, Salamander has always fancied itself as sort of a cultural Mecca in the capital. It features a book store, well as far as book stores go; it has a healthy number of shelves and does manage to display current and engaging books. Expect also to see a guitarist on some nights strumming away on his strings, eyes closed, apparently oblivious to a world that he fails to realise is also oblivious to him, but hey- man must chop.
The new cafe has made good use of its space, and it’s commendable that they have acquired a bigger location, the floor design immediately makes you feel that the room is larger than it is, the choice of colours for the rooms also gives the feel that it repels sunlight, so you feel that you are caught in place of perpetual shade, a nirvana of sorts.
The Lads and lady had sequestered themselves in the closed off glassed compartment of the cafe, and it made it more intimate. Our crowd seemed to have mellowed out; previous nights we were involved in heated debates about the Decline of the Nigerian Film Industry and the Charade of Modern Marriage in the 21st century. But this morning I sensed no one cared about what part of America Jim Iyke’s accent is meant to be from or what sackcloth Omotola wore to the Grammys, or what our mothers had to say about our advancing age and our marital status. We all just wanted to eat.
While we all waited on the food, and ordered our accompanying drinks, lattes, Orange Juices, Black Coffee,- yes this lot, can like to form. The conversation quickly drifted to ventures, current projects and the immediate future, as is often the case with young adults; we all rued how hard the country was while we all nursed over-priced cocktails and high priced digital gadgets, the Irony never sets in with us.
Our meals eventually arrived; mine was served last, so it didn’t arrive till well after the others, which gave me enough time to observe and inspect everyone else’s meal. My friend and Film maker extraordinaire Ishaya Bako had ordered the full English breakfast and I immediately became the Cain to his Abel and if could have found a hard enough object I would have smacked him upside the head with it. His meal was complete with, Toasted Bread, Bacon, Baked Beans and Eggs, it looked resplendent like the King’s Speech, Seun had a sandwich, and our accompanying lady Friend Bimpe was content with orange juice.
My meal eventually arrived and it was an afterthought, I was already in the process of thieving several key areas of Ishaya’s meal, I felt like a “coalition jet strategically picking off Libyan forces”. I am sure had I concentrated I would have enjoyed my meal and remembered it with the same fondness, had I not been obsessed with Mr. Bako’s food- in retrospect there was nothing on his plate or mine that anyone of us couldn’t easily have made on our own, but then how would you know we were hip and uber cool if we couldn’t pay for services we could just have easily rendered ourselves and then act like it is our right and unfair all at the same time. Ah, the sweet smell of capitalism.
Speaking of capitalism, while I consumed all of my meal, large portions of Ishaya’s and occasional pieces of Seuns meal, the bill arrived in its several thousands and I promptly moved to the next table to make the acquaintance of the gentleman who we had no doubt been disturbing with our bantering.
Seun and Ishaya settled the bill (now you see why I was hyping them) while I continued to make a new friend, I would have joined in settling the bill but my kind nature got the best of me, and Seun and Ishaya forgot to remind me, honest! I vaguely remember them calling my name at the time, but I imagine they were calling to tell me my laces were undone or something. Honest! The fact that I left the table as soon as the bill came was complete Coincidence. Honest!!!
It so turned out that the acquaintance I made was Mr. Bayo Imam, Editorial Director Extraordinaire of the excellent magazine Sur La Terre (a lifestyle Magazine that this humble blogger hopes to feature in some time)- now you see why I am hyping him too!!
As we left the cafe, with Seun and Ishaya several thousand shorter, and I, with the distinct taste of AWOF down my throat, I mused on how the person that said you don’t always get what you want, had probably never watched me eat before. And while I would like to finish that thought for you, I didn’t account for the time difference, my mother is now on the phone....seems her spidey senses are still intact, now where did I keep that Bible............
Salamander Cafe is now located at No: 5 Bumjumbura Street, off Liberville Street, Wuse ll, Abuja. They can be reached on +234 70 27850 932
Sidenote: Spoiling for a laugh? Head over to www.wazobiareport.com for the best coverage of Nigerian Non-Issues. Salamander Cafe also hosts The Abuja Literary Society every third Friday of the month for the literary inclined. My friend Seun heads an excellent travel agency called Siobhan Williams, interested in hassle free travel give him a shout on +234805411109
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